Based on the principles of Phoenix Hanratty Thought
My Platform
Once I'm elected, there's one thing above all others that you can trust me for: Your money will be returned to YOU, though in different forms. I will advocate for the use of student funds not on projects that will benefit only small interest groups, but the student body as a whole. I'm talking parties and events, giveaways, basically anything that we all can enjoy.
Not a dollar wasted. I will make sure every last dollar is spent, and on YOU! Not projects that only benefit the few.
I will abolish all rules. Or at least all rules I have the power to abolish. People need to be free to do as they wish without intervention from the state or other collectives, and seeing that the SGA is basically just a mini state, I will take all possible action to stop all instances of it treading on YOU!
I will keep my ears open to the people. I will hear suggestions from YOU, my constituents, and take your advice into account when voting on and writing my own bills, because nobody knows what's best for you other than you.
Once elected, I will give a rousing victory speech in the Quad. I know, this isn't and actual policy, but I'm running out of ways to bribe YOU without it technically being considered bribery.